Kiss
Puke
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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