i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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