Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You smell like stripper and shame
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
she told me i tasted like america
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
