Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Damn victory sex feels great
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