You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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