Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
