At least make sure they are 18
Why
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize