Small penises have feelings too.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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