East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
