there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
