She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
What a dumb baby whore.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
