I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm drive I can fine osifer
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
