He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
