mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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