Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
