i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
