right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
