whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
