she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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