So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
