Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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