u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
If that was your dad, he is hot
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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