you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
