Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize