I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
