So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
