I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize