He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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