isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
