apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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