Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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