my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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