did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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