Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
my being single is dangerous.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
