JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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