If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize