her vagine was all disorganized.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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