I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
