Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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