Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
