i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
