Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize