Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Randomize
