Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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