Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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