No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
