How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
