You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
what day is it and did you see me today?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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