Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
