if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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