He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize