I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I will be naked everywhere
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
