Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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