I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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