I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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