He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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