Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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