i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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