I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
