Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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