Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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