I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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