imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
